Lace

We dated for a month and half and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wanted to do it with him the week after that but I felt it was too obvious. Putting out as soon as I was in a committed relationship was so expected. I decided not to plan out lfie and just let life happen. It ended up being two months to have sex with him. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I guess good things really do come to those who wait because by the end of my wait I wanted to fuck the shit out him everywhere. At the movies seemed like a perfectly reasonable. In the laundry room. On the quiet floor of the library. The urge was so bad I think I would have done it front of a classroom of kindergardeners. But it didn't happen in any of those places. Once I felt in my heart I was ready my gaurd was down and I would let it happen. I didn't plan out in my head the night we would do it. I determined that just because I was ready didn't mean I could snap my fingers and instantly get it. Love didn't work like that. I would no longer avoid situations that would tempt me to have sex with him because I was ready to have sex with him. But it could be a few days before the opportunity arose. But I hope it wasn't that many days because I wanted the dee.

The Wednesday before we had sex for the very first time I thought would be the night. We went to the movies and I thought we were going to go back to his house, but we ended up going with friends and by the time the movie was over we were both exhausted and both had school the next day. As I kissed him good night I ran my hand down his shirt in a more flirtatious way. I wad trying to tell him, you better pick an earlier movie next time so we can get this show on the road. I curled my hair like i had on our first date, my bangs fell in front of my face, I wore my Micheal Kors pave chunky bracelet. My lace thong was spritzed with Daisy.

That Friday night we decided not to go out. We rented Pitch Perfect from Redbox. I don't like watching romantic movies with him, I'd rather watch funny movies we both enoy. I know guys hate them so I'd rather watch them with my girlfriends or save them for myself to watch.  We'd gotten panda express to go and it was all sprawled out all over the place. He ate mine and his. I tried to eat unhelthy foods as I treat but I couldn't do it. I'd only had the rice and an Icee I had to have from the gas station. It turn my lips slightly red. My hair was in natural lose waves. I only had a little bit on concealer, burts bee chapstick on a little bit of mascara. My face was starting to get a little color in it, my summer glow was slowly surfacing. I had a neon green we neck on that fit loosly and emphasized my tiny waist. I was wearing a lacy bralette and black leggings. In the middle of the movie the mess started to get to me and I slid towards the edge of the movie and started stacking the paper plates napkins and soy sauce packets still remaining focused on the movie. He came up behind me and wrapped his arm round me. He slowly kissed my neck and then rubbed his hands down my leg. I turned towards him and he kissed me. I kissed him back slowly and softly. I wanted to drag this out. I pushed my chest against him and he backed me into the couch. I played with his hair and began to kiss harder and with more energy. We kissed for what seems for hours but I know it could have been more than ten minutes. The kissed were wild and playful and raw and deeper than a pure animal instinct. He pulled my shirt over my head and I my body hardened a little and I shurgged nervously, he could sense it. I had to say something. I was able to moan stop, he's body bristled, he thought he was getting some and I stopped the train.

He ran his hands through his hair with a hint of exasperation as if to say you did not just dry hump me on the couch for fifteen minutes to tell me you are not ready. There was a part of me that want to laugh. These kinds of moments seemed to be ever present in my life. The times when I had to call my mom and ask her how to use a blender. Or being pulled over for not having my lights on. Somehow I always managed to get myself into these situations.

I locked eyes with him hoping to convey a sense of innocence and realness  and said quickly because I knew he needed to know and I knew I could lose my nerve "I've only had sex two times. Ever and both times I've bled. I get really tight really quickly to the point where I notice it when I put in a tampon  and it's been a long time since I've had sex. I don't want this to turn into a mess but we're gonna have to go slow."

He instantly relaxed. He thought I was trying to take reins or slam on the breaks. I really just need him to ease my fears.  He grabbed my hand and squeezed it a little and brushed the part of my bands that had fallen into my face back and said aww babe of course I am not going to hurt you. We'll go slow. He got off went to his bathroom and came back with a small bottle, "for when we're ready" and we started kissing again.

He slid my legging off and as I lie in my black lace thong my heart beat in anticipation. Wait I said. And here's the other delimna. Because I am practically virginal I bleed a lot. It's going to be messy.
He shook his head, your crazy. No amount of tightness or blood is going to scare me off from fucking my girlfriend. I looked up at him. When I looked at him I still felt all giddy in side like those first few times we met and his eyes would sparkle and he'd raise his eyebrows at me. My legs we're quivering and I still had my bra and panties on. My hair slid down over the couch. I brushed my hand along those few hairs he missed when he shaved. My toes curled in. I felt like the last twenty years I'd been dead. I hadn't been alive until this moment in time.