I wake up to a few new text messages. I realize I had plans with Tyler. It's unlike me to forget plans and it wasn't just oh let's chill at hookah with some friends or let's got out and drink. We're going on a date. The real kind. The kind where I wear a floral dress from Forever 21 that took me an hour to pick up out as I struggled with fifteen different choices in my hand. I wish I had gotten my period on a day that was destined to be lame like a day I had to stay at school till four. Today has so much fun pontential, not just in the way of what comes after dessert. Why go out to dinner if I have such bad cramps, I'll push around the salad leaves and nimble on a cruton? I will never be able to enjoy tonight. My laugh won't be as light. My smile won't be as wide. My eyes won't shine with gratitude for being alive another day and living this moment. I feel kind of dumb. There's probably a ton of girls wait their entire live to get to put on a dress and wear wedges. To walk effortless, and naturally and like I don't have a care in the world. The way you walk when the boy who has your heart takes you for dinner.
I scroll through the messages and after about three hours of going MIa of course the "are we still on for tonight" text is there. I desperately want to respond "What's tonight?" but I am not ten years old anymore and have awareness of other peoples feelings. When someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you you don't shit on them. Do I tell him I am on my period? Is that to much info for a guy? What if he tries to do something? Then I'd have to tell him.I've been single my entire life until now. I decide that even though that it isn't something super high on his list to have to hear about he'd probably want to know. And even though periods aren't a huge deal it is an intimate thing for me to discuss with a guy.
I call him.
The sound of his voice on the phone still makes my heart pick up in beats
"Hey"
"Hey girl, whats up"
"I've been feeling pretty sick all day and I've been lying in bed since I got home from school. Let's go on our date next week when, Ill be able to enjoy and we'll have more fun"
I can tell he believes me when he says, "Want to just have a chill movie night instead."
I fight back the urge to tell him it's Thursday night go out with the guys. Then he'll think I am just trying to get out of the date.
Come on, I can come over and we can chill.
I say sure. Even thought I still hesitate about him seeing me like this.
"Okay I'll get a movie from redbox before I head over there, do you want me to grab you anything while I am at the store"
I am dying for some cookie dough ice cream but I really feel like ice cream is a dead give away that I am on my period. Doesn't matter I want my ice cream.
"Hmm what about some ice cream, ice cream goes good with movies right?"
He pauses and chuckles, I think he is deliberating about calling me out.
"Ice cream sounds good. What flavor do you want?"
"Chocolate, no cookie dough, no cake batter. I laugh with a hint of nervousness. You just pick"
I see his smiling face at my front door. I kiss him a slight peck at the front door. I step back and to take a look at him in the a flirtatiously say "Hi boyfriend" He taps me on the butt. I squeal a little. I grab his hand and pull him through my door.
We climb into my bed and nestle amongst the blankets. He wraps his arm around me and kisses me on the head. Our simple day of cuddling turns into a make out session fast and before I know it he hands grace the tops of my pants. I swat his hand away and oh and say with slight sass that heightens the tension "no, none of that for you buddy"
"You seem like you've made a remarkable recovery"
"I giggle, something like that, "
His hand's now make there way into the bottom of my shorts and I snap, "What are you doing?"
I can tell he's taken a back and he flatly says, trying to get into your pants
Fully charged with a intense rush of PMS, I quickly retort. "Oh, cool now I see why you came over. If thats why you came over then you should just leave" I scoot far way from him and turn to face the wall to add emphasis to my fit.
I think he knows what's up because he doesn't get mad. He just shakes his head and smirks and runs his finger along my arm. "You know that's not why I came over" His tone is sincerce but I can feel him slowly loosing patience. Like the same way he'd say "Yes mom, I will stop at the stop sign for the 50 millionth time.
"Whatever" I half mumbled half groan.
He runs his hands through my hair and says with more patience than I deserve. "Babe"
"Fine you can't have your hand there because I am on my period. Free blow jobs for everyone" and I trace my finger along the wall. I can't look at him. My eyes are watering. I feel so dumb.
"I knew it"
"How?"
"You tried to run a grandma off the road who was driving too slow last week, you had ice cream for two nights ago nd you called your boss a fugly womanizer. I could smell the Bengay from the doorway. It's not hard to tell when my mary sunshine turns into a hormonal princess"
I roll over from pouting and look him in the eye with the sad remorseful eyes of a four year old who was just put in time out. "I'm sorry" I pull him into a hug and kisses me on the top of my head.
"You must think I am weird"
He laughs "Not even close to crazy but you don't have to wait until I am about to put my hand in your pants you to for you to tell me you are on your period"
"I didn't want to freak you out"
"Freak me out? Sure it's not like I want to sit here and debate with you the pros and cons of tampon brand but if it's happening to my girl friend and she's all huddled in her bed I want to know whats up"
I lean my head into his shoulder.
"I have really bad cramps"
Come here, let me rub your back.
I snuggle up against him and he slowly gently running his hands down my back.
My eyes start to close again and I bury my head against his chest. I feel him every breath on the back of my neck. His warmth covers me like a blanket. My hands interlock with his, and they slowly relax. I feel his legs right up against mine. I smell him. His entire body engulfs me.Our bodies intertwine our legs meshing into one. Time slows. Sleepy, blissful, silence. Right before I drift back to sleep I catch him smiling at me. Maybe I was dreaming or maybe he was laughing at the TV. Or maybe just maybe my life had surpassed my dreams. This is what it's like to be somebodies number one.
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